Definitely wasn't trainwrecking tonight. Not that I didn't screw up - lots - but it wasn't a train-wreck.
Got to karate forty minutes early. Such is the life when you're depending on public transport. God, won't spring come?
But - the advantage is that I get there really early, so I've got lots of extra time to practice - with my friendly Sensei, full mirrors, and wooden floors as benefit.
Before class I focused on kicks. Lots and lots of kicks. Kicks I haven't drilled in a long time, because this school doesn't focus on them. Weird kicks. Combination kicks. Trying to get my flow right - some kicks naturally tie to others - roundhouse kicks, for instance, lend themselves to spinning back kicks. Front kicks and hook kicks go well together. And so on. Not that I have much occasion for stringing kicks together - its really just about figuring out how to string techniques together in a realistic and practical way. Noticing the rotation of your body & hips and considering whether the next technique you use is one that is natural - goes with the rotation - or unnatural - you're fighting to get your body to change direction, rotation, and focus. Its kind of fun, because I haven't done it in so long and it reminds me of my home dojo (in Florida).
Class was, as expected - kata. Forms. I haven't gotten to work on the advanced kata since Sensei D. left in January, since the other classes I attend are mostly kids and usually no other upper ranks or black belts. I'm worried that Saturday - returning to the Big Dojo - we'll work on forms, and I'll come to find how much I've forgotten.
I haven't forgotten much, and most of my hangups are [still] related to transitioning between karate styles - my old school did it one way, this school does it completely different. But I am making a real, concentrated effort to make sure I'm doing it their way, not questioning it, not fighting it, not letting myself fall back into the way I was 'raised,' as it were, in karate.
I really hate changing things. A lot of the time, I catch myself thinking that I like my old way better. It isn't any better, I know that. It is just different. It is just hard to change, and I've been doing these katas, techniques, movements, stances in this way for years, so I feel much more comfortable doing it the old way. It is easy to get frustrated - I had no idea changing schools was such a difference. But it is, at least between these two styles. The fundamentals, the most basic things, even - my old school, for instance, taught that all blocks are bladed - half-facing. At this school they are all straight-on. It is a fundamental, significant difference that changes everything about how I move. And so I have to break my muscle memory AND my former instructors countering-voice all the time. I'm managing, and getting better at it - but I had no idea I'd have so much trouble with it. No wonder folks are wary of new black belts coming from other schools - think they'll come in with ego, and not want to learn a new way of doing things! I'm not sure about the rest - but I know it isn't ego (...am an idiot and I know I'm an idiot...) or not wanting to learn their way. I'm just struggling and trying to hide that I'm struggling. Maybe that is ego?
But yes. Tomorrow, all willing, I'll be sweating and grunting along with the rest of the BigDojo. And cowering away from the Shihan, hoping he doesn't notice me. And possibly forgetting how to punch or, alternatively, punching far harder than necessary. But that's a problem for another night.
Tonight I'm happy, because I reviewed Heian/Pinan 1-5, Tekki/Naihanchi 1 & 2, Bassai [Dai], Kanku Dai, and Mikiyo - and didn't struggle through any of them. And because even though I have pathologically screwy balance, I had a nice kicking session. But mostly because I sweated, and grunted, and got frustrated with a group of friends who laughed at my frustration, handed me inspiration, and sweated and grunted too.
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