No fear.

Judo yesterday: working on 'bumping' throws.

Harder than it sounds, but maybe because I'm thinking about it. My problem is that I pause between the bump and the throw - I need to fully commit. I think I stop to check my leverage, see if I'm right on... but I don't need to be perfect for things to work.  They'll work.  Just need to lose my fear - I know if I commit and they counter/I'm off/whatever, I'm gonna go flying or set myself up to be choked.

We also learned some baseball slide sacrifice throws. That really might come in handy.  Drop throws in general. Will have to play with that.

Watched some pretty awesome matches between jiujitsu guys. No fear, no inhibitions. Just showed me what I could do, if I fully committed and stopped being afraid to move. Its hard to explain the feeling, but I just know I'm hesitating, thinking things through. Which is fine... except when it keeps me from committing with my whole body. Makes me think - maybe the bigest reason why I'm getting pinned isn't the size of my opponent, but my willingness to throw my whole bodyweight and technique against them. My instructor was talking about what happens when you pair an upper rank and a lower rank together. The upper rank is playing hard, because they don't want to lose... and sometimes the lower rank is giving in because they're expecting to. I'm gonna try to find that mindset tonight at jiujitsu. 

Have to find the line between committing fully... and spazzing.